Monday, January 16, 2012

The Costco Diet Plan-Thank you Wendy-I howled at this.....




MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!

6 comments:

Grace Rose said...

OH My Goodness!! LAUGHING LAUGHING LAUGHING ... (LOL just doesn't cut it!) Thank you so much for sharing this :) :)

Andee said...

I love it sort of reminds me of "here's your sign"...I have several moments like this at work everyday..I am a sign language interpreter and I interpret phone calls. Often the Deaf person looks up while on hold and asks me if we are still on hold...ah no, I just decided to pretend we were and just not interpret what the other party is saying...lol :) thanks for the crack up!

Marlynne said...

So Funny! My husband and I both Howled!

Junebug said...

Oh my, I haven't laugh that hard for a long time. Thanks for the entertainment!

Junebug said...

Oh my, I haven't laugh that hard for a long time. Thanks for the entertainment!

waggonswest said...

What a hoot!